1 I am a male teacher. Hemorrhoids made, pad of a sanitary napkin (sanitary napkin is the wife). In the school playing basketball, and that damn thing down the leg fell out, well above the blood ~ ~ ~
around a lot of students around the stadium watching, NND, pick up is not nor does not pick up the line ... ...
2 high school boarding school, some students go home to let him take along something to help me, they send text messages: I boil clothes and money.
3 cooked crab last night, after the water, I threw one crab pot. Crab is very fresh in the pot tamper.
good wife to play carefully, you can not see this, then hiding behind me, afraid to look over his eyes.
I relieved said: Allison, we are not too cruel? Wife: ah ... ... ... ... salt it?
4 us that the old man to teach chemistry 800 degrees of myopia, a class on the blackboard after blackboard turned suddenly pointed at my big
call: do you stand! ! I sit down! ! I was sitting on the last row of seats, and I hung on the wall behind my coat ... ...
5 college classes on first aid, CPR, Professor said as he Demo:
Professor: hands, press the chest, can not make the effort too much pressure can be 2 ~ 3cm, awkward too easy to press down the ribs of the patient!
professor: see below demonstration (hands, rearing a pressure), Kacha soon! Model of broken ribs.
embarrassed to say, the University of class ~
6 to Shenzhen painting, visiting with students on the road, suddenly a male student walked to the side of the road, took a shoulder to ask: is not squeezed his head in the door, even to ask the members of the bank's charge money! ! Members may also charge money not hear. Looking back, nervous with a gun (large jet) pointed to him: . . . .
explosive waterfall sweat. . . . . . .
7 in primary school when I bought an evil graduation book, because it says January 20-February 18, the constellation is -
--- Block
tank was in a very long time people ask me what sign you are, I say that is the tank seat!
8 to work with former colleagues in the company across the street to go to the station, came across a man, staring at me a moment and I just want to ask him know me. The man looked at me, then spit it! That ah! ~ ~
Man is drunk!
I am speechless, and colleagues laugh spray, spread through the ages from the matter open. . .
colleagues everyone that said, *** that ugly ah, the man looked at her to spit. . .
9 times my friends drunk, according to his mom, he was in the toilet, phone-like right hand, left hand according to the mirror, and mirrors in the good? recent prison control is tight it? for the early out ah ...
10 once, as something to contact a classmate, but the phone did not save his number, then to another and he familiar students send text messages, In desperation, can only send text messages to big brother again,
11 I just had never been seen on the university, special soil, another class teacher to do the ppt show, never used before, just say that my first go, a long time to open a computer projector did not respond.
following a few buddies call, press F2, press F2!
so I hesitated and asked: is both key and press it?
12, a little girl went to the counter, said to me: 'Auntie, give me a packet of ketchup.'
my boys, at least this card is written.
so I smiled, handed her a while to her side, said: 'No problem, brother.'
girl shocked: 'I am not a little brother ah!'
me: 'I am the aunt that you ? '
little girl ran away hurriedly took the tomato sauce!
13 graduate school when the class two boys and a girl to help her something from the seventh floor will be moved to the first floor of the five boxes, tired The two boys almost breathe, property inspection can not see past the aunt, said something that I lament to this day,
14 day to go and make a telephone call to friends, let her come with me, and I on the bus, the way a phone call to her: ? > I feel wrong, look crazy to see the same people across at me, subconsciously back and saw my friend sitting behind a small M seat: .......Not many people were on board, she is relying on me and the other MM standing, I subconsciously placed his bag in front, next to the MM can be looked out the window, but unaware. Soon, middle-aged women who had a hand into his bag of MM, said that at that moment, I suddenly put a fart sound, and smell and sound ah, kicking cars full of people look at me, I shame wait to find a hole drilled ah. However, middle-aged women Xunde quickly withdrew his hand to cover their nose! Ha ha!
one evening talking together, we gathered in front of the computer search picture, search results only to a small box and packing the kind of pictures have not been touched, not the kind of start, so we decided collectively to curb the kind of slot machines where to buy one.
results to those machines are rusty, we a bunch of people around the box that there is no discussion in the end what a waste of a coin worth of classes, we estimate that pedestrians are met Khan ... ...
was finally bought one, one girl was shocked: How to cover up that person? Director of the moral high school, talking very tough.
classic paragraph: Now we have a very civilized behavior school, many students Guangzhuobangzi play basketball, and most of the boys!
Is there a small part of the light the arm of the girls what?
18 high school students nearly a degree of myopia, glasses do not a play can not people ...
smashed the glasses also continue to fight, continue to head one-third ...
results also into a hollow ...
the audience are quiet ...
then I (he and I have different teams) picked up the ball and then throw him his tee ..
the ball back into the me and said: you are not out of bounds, you tee ...
19 Video: 23 [TV] set
sniper Comments:
Cool 6 User IP: 58.57 .7 .* 2009-08-16 22:08 Post
seen a lot of anti-Japanese theme of the film, how traitors are Chinese.
20 Lianju with an aunt ~ ~ One day her husband motorcycle car she went home ~ ~ on the road, there is a man want to stop them, and said to them ~ ~ in front of my car was stolen, take your car to chase him - I did not care for her husband aunt He continued to open aunt sitting in the back that said something ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I lend you my car, I wait for the next car chase what means you - -.....< br>
21 a drink with friends, drink from the afternoon of the evening, drinking white wine does not move on all replaced, and the last cup of wine one hand holding my hand patting his shoulder, just to say dig pit of the stomach, he put his mouth as well as the absorption of red wine all spit him, and he froze for a second, your head burst into tears, then a miserable heart crack lung, I reluctantly said: Do not cry, small A happily ran the financial room to receive paychecks, and then ... ...
accounting, said:
this time come to do presentations to each person in turn made a banana
I told the students that ah hey - happy listening to lectures but also eat the fruit 8 8 wrong
wrong person next to her side and speech talking and laughing while eating banana peel a happy
This time the teacher came each made a TT
that banana is used to set the original TT, but my students with the
hand where only a banana peel..
24 high one time, that soon the college entrance examination radii strangler white, the third year our school is certainly tense on Monday flag-raising, there is a High School female student speech on the screen: ... you sister school seniors must seriously face the entrance, play to their best level, do not repeat the mistakes in the test ...
25 chemistry teacher do dilute hydrochloric acid and zinc in vitro experiments to what he's ready to pour the point of hydrochloric acid down such a long time did not respond wondered then called a classmate to answer: The students do not see why you talk about bubbles it?
students: teacher, you do not release zinc!
teacher : The students answered very well!
26 school, became popular Wenquxing, my students have money to buy a 98-year 200.
I would like to take his play a while, playing to a local requirements lose the password, the password I asked him how much.
he did not say, he said not to Kanla personal information.
So I gave up, but my curiosity heart has not disappeared.
One day, I saw him play out the Wenquxing, I accidentally saw him lose to steal passwords, I saw him lose the same six characters, heart barely disguised pleasure, The original password is simple, he looked for opportunities to look through to peek.
So me one day while he went out, took his Wenquxing turned out burberry handbag, and quickly lose I saw 6 m **** character **
....< br>
27 buses in Beijing, a man bring a four-year-old boy.
such as traffic lights, bus next to police cars.
man I do not know why so hate pol.ice supra sneakers for sale, with the boy said: pol.ice
know what they are son of the people. I am the people, pol.ice is my son! determine chicken
they laughed at me that I have not bought a taste of something so ugly I am not convinced
say how loud how the chicken is a chicken with dignity (I was also keen to say xx dignity)
Having found that the whole hall of people are watching me ...
29 day.
death: to prepare the hand in papers, to see my
at the same table sat on his stool, and holding his little table.. the outward turned down... I was shocked, do not know why, He slowly struggled to climb from their tables and chairs up piteously said: I think you have to stand up and hit me TT ... ...
31 days before finally crush the guy from the junior high school dating a brother out
I wear that dress ah - great collar as the clothes, then paste the chest paste ...
very sweet after dinner, walking on the street in the business.
suddenly, handsome brother to stop asked me, under your clothes stick to what ah?
me confused and looked down, OMG! chest paste actually slip out! and stuck in the clothes of hem ~
I am calm remove it , thrown into the trash: ...
32 in the bedroom, gossip, and we chat while a classmate, while mobile phone recharge cards by hand stripping the password, the more talk the more vigorously, and so she recovered, the password that a prepaid card She has been stripped to wear, and later to her craft paper with a talent for blowing out dust in the password, but also top-up.
33 have a physical education, teachers face a serious one up on the board to announce : Today, I want to criticize the two students, a man and woman. stop a boy behind me whispered: Gou Nannv! one pair Gounan Nv! teacher cried, I say that you, and XX (another woman) the whole class roared with laughter ~ ~ ~ ~
34 days ago to see a mobile Internet news: singer smiling drug arrest ...
I wonder ...
on drug abuse chant, why do smiling drugs?
why the news but also a smile highlighted drug addicts do?
later learned, had a smile is a singer ...
35 years ago, the company do secretarial, in urgent, hurried toward the bathroom and found the ladies room door ajar, for single pit toilet, dare to rush into, then knock on the door test, only to hear a female voice calmly replied: Come ~~!!< br>
36 when I dig the pockets, a key out, was not found, then go back and look!
a pair of young lovers in the street where the man suddenly said excitedly: Who? in the end is Who?
I thought is the key to quickly say: My, my! my
later learned, turned out that the woman was pregnant 。。。。< br> my face ah poor. . hurt a young child
37 days of ignorance, I only saw my mother wearing a bra, bra they thought that my mother is the exclusive things. so for some time, every day I hold to hold clothes pole the yard all the bras are back home. neighbor women come to my house to ask for day bra, I dedicated a day guarding the door, they shouted toward, all my mother's! ~
38 I am a Cuozao, I am not accidentally rub the tattoo of a society gone boss
39 to go to school when the school was built, opening in September to a lot of new life. One day a newborn is like holding a pile of work on behalf of class, asked me:
man who went to the male toilets on the right facing the shouting their ....< Br>
40 on the primary school, night dreamed and dad fight, it is gas is gas, the gas actually woke up. After woke up next to my father to see
see, or the fire, up pops two mouths = =
41 a mathematical morning exercise, the class did not finish. Cheeky puzzled math teacher, said: Last night I finished with the advertising time, your speed is too slow. Against a student on the spot, and shouted: Hunan, Taiwan, the teacher is to see the ads now! Class rolling on.
42 News: Tong Dawei, his wife gave birth to female
Comments: This is really great
43 TONG Da One time a friend's house to get things ready to go downstairs, three upstairs downstairs to see a few a child playing with a friend eventful
sunflower acupuncture hand up saying: look at my sunflower hand acupuncture point to one of the children upstairs to our
we dawdle at least half an hour in the upstairs downstairs when I saw The child was still standing motionless
friends go to the one blamed for children sunflower Jiexue hand jump
I Kuanghan .................. .......< br>
44 morning just to get up in the balcony to see a woman across the floor wearing only a bra to do breakfast. Called, came to see her husband, her husband ashen face, silent to the house naked, I Lin Hui.
没有评论:
发表评论